I just thought...

Life is a bitch. Karma is a bitch. Therefore, life is karma. But do you know who is a real fucker? Assumption. How many times shit went really down just because, instead of talking it out, we just thought of something and allowed that to rule our emotions and actions? At the end of the day, there are seven billion parallel worlds in this planet.

I've only encountered one piece of true wisdom in my life so far, when people say they're older but none the wiser.

I'm a thirty-year-old out-and-proud grown-ass man whose image would make my six-year-old self so damn proud. Yet I still see the world through my fifteen-year-old scared-yet-hopeful eyes.

Okay, enough with the compounds.

I was eight when I first experienced people's gratuitous dislike towards me. I've always lacked any basic level of social skills and somehow that never stopped me from trying. 22 years later and here I am, longing to embrace the devilish monster I've been often called. I've heard that, if I do, I will have the same lonely late life as my father. Although loneliness is never good, I cannot say it waited for my late years.

That's not what prevents me from embracing the social horns. It's actually my innocent, hopeful teenager view of the world that keeps wishing this wrecked society will one day stop mixing authenticity for rudeness. It's actually the fact that, every time I see my world, that monster isn't there, no matter how many times people say otherwise.

See how fucked up I am for assuming things?

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Don't you pretend that you don't need a little more from me.

Here we go again... I guess

At this point you probably have already figured out life is a bitch. Funny thing is, no matter how far in your journey you are, you already know it.

People tend to believe their problems are always the worst in the world. I don’t blame them. A problem I don’t have to fix really sounds quite simple to me.

Quite often during my journey I was led to believe I am not entitled. And I was led by none other than myself. A few years ago, I learned that entitled can be another word for spoiled. I don’t commonly disagree with English, but when I do, boy, it does consume some energy.

I have recently fully appreciated the fact that I’m just a poor part of the system. I go through the everyday struggle just like the one next door. I have had my share of shitty jobs just as well as my share of bosses promising their companies were different.

How old were you when you stopped believing that bullshit?

Even though I’m poor, I’m fully aware money isn’t the answer to everything. Trust me, I deeply need it. But I’m glad to say that, as I get 3 months close to 31, there are still parts of me that no money can buy. There have always been and I hope there always will.

Versions of me that I can see down the path that, poor as I am or might even become, no daily million can make me accept.

I try my hardest to keep my promise to my self-evolution and yet I see so much of me that has been compromised in favour of other people’s riches that I cling ever more dearly to the core of what makes me who I am.

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Cleopatra had her way, Mata Hari too. Whether they were good or bay is strictly up to you.